Thoughts of Chicken Head

*This is Heads thoughts while climbing with the obvious side kick of the climbing duo*

*Warning: Story has no point*

 Crimps (left) the side kick of the strong and beutiful Pinches (right).

Crimps (left) the side kick of the strong and beutiful Pinches (right).

It was early. The sun low on the horizon with birds slowly taking to the skies. My thoughts became all to clear as my muscles started to ache. I felt tired, I didn't want to stand up... My thoughts drifted to the presence of my phone inches away from my face. The alarm minutes away, felt like a tiger ready to pounce an unsuspecting chicken. I wanted to switch it off but my resolve to be more resolute than Crimps was to strong. I told myself that I am strong, I am a mountain, I am the ocean, I feel no pain, I experience no fear, my mind is knives and my body is some kind of mud, I AM CHICKEN HEAD!

I fell asleep...

¨BEEB¨Beeb¨Beeb!¨... My alarm went of, I regret all my past decisions. Why o why! My life suddenly and unexpectedly laid at a cross road: stand up, get ready, climb and show this skinny viking whose boss or go to bed,play sick, drink beer and give Crimps some kind of recognition that he is human... I chose the first option. With my body still aching I got up and looked over to the other bed in the room. Crimps was faking sleep. Pppft what a weak mortal!

"Hey Crimps! Lets go climb, I want to go crush" I lied. He made a sound, I wondered was it english, viking-ish or the kind of sound resembling the sound of exploding volcano`s in Blue Planet 2? I had no idea but it was confimation enough to get me to make some strong coffee.

With coffee and rusks in hand I kept a brave face on and asked Crimps how he felt: "Crimps how do you feel?" He replied with a shrill voice: " I can slay vampires! Lets go climb something hard!" (Full disclosure he may not have said those exact words... I rarely listen, it could have been wales and not vampires. You never know with these northernly characters.) 

 Crimps, descendant of vikings!

Crimps, descendant of vikings!

After about an hour of wasting time to prolong the stay in the warmth of the house we set of to Montugu for some serious climbing. We were silent the drive there. It was a short drive I thought. The weather was not great but we stayed silent about it. I could not help but feel tired, but I hid it well. I felt proud that I was not showing weakness, my toxic masculinity finally showed some results.

I started the day with a 6c+, well in my grade I thought. But at the first couple of moves I realized I was way to tired! I fell multiple times on easy moves. My thoughts turned negative which in turn made the climbing even worst. Two bolts from the top I started to moan way to much for my liking. With my tail between my legs I asked Crimps to lower me down. "Crimps lower me down" I asked. Crimps lowered me down. I felt weak, tired, worthless... The glass my loyal readers was half empty.

Crimps climbed a bit and luckily for me also felt tired and weak so we moved on to a different part of the crag. I tried to send a 7b called Thruster but failed repeatedly. But astounding to me was that Crimps (yes Crimps the individual in pictures above) was having a even worst day of climbing than I was having! So bravely he decided to climb a 6a+ named Beach Break. I was in awe. There I was looking at a brave man ready to climb the well known and respected climb that is Beach Break and I was going to belay him. I felt a pinch of respect.

Luckily that respect quickly vanaished when he started to struggle as soon as the first bolt. Again for the second time of the day I was at a cross road: Should I support this bold climbing feat or should I make a joke? I decided on the latter. Like normal when a joke is made, laughter follows and when climbing is involved falling is normally the result.

Thus there we were, two tired climbers, one hanging of the second bolt of a 6a+, laughing at the downfall of our climbing careers.

From my mom's house, Bonnievale.

-Chicken Head

*Disclaimer not needed*